Because She's Too Good For Words

I really enjoy writing. Sometimes I have a really hard time articulating clearly what I want with my speech but but I can sit down with a pen and my little yellow pad and say exactly what I want. Nobody can take it away from me. I have a hard time writing when I'm happy and things are going well in my life. A year and a half ago I started going through a very trying time in my life and was filling up a notebook every few months and that wasn't including the letters and journaling I was doing also. Some stuff I wrote I think is pretty good and then there was plenty of pretty bad or more appropriately pointless stuff. I have written very little in the last year comparatively.
It took until just recently for some very important things to turn around for me but just over a year ago I met the most amazing person I've ever known. Someone who makes me laugh during the entire adventure, someone who has stood by me through the hardest time I've had, someone that I never thought I'd find in my wandering life. Despite the hardships of late she has always been there for me making me feel stronger and more confident then ever with all her many ways. With this great love that I've been shown I've gotten to know happiness again and humbleness.
I may try for the rest of my life but my words will never be able to describe the wonderful feeling of emotion that this beautiful, beautiful women has given me.





In the distance sipping sweet sake
She sits savoring slippery sushi.
Well.   She sat at one time,
And Yes.   I guess she will sit again someday.

But now I dwell on the dimming Green light
Off in the distance, in the haze
As she flickers and fades as if an
Oil lamp low on fuel in a storm that hasn't fully formed.

Like Labor Day on the lake. Lying awake rambling,
Her cunning curves carving while my loose legs listed.
Or, like loose linen flowing, golden silk blowing, snapping memories
Of royalty, miles of meandering gardens, and topping it off with shiraz.

A 1,000,000 miles I'd go just to feel her smiles.
Holding a hand. Helping through a horrendous highlight.
Embracing my life, my heart with the warmth of a wool wrap
On a winters eve rolled up with her. Waiting out the storm.

Around the Tree and Back Again:

Around the tree and back again was inspired by a mix tape that I had made for a women who was very special to me at the time. We had just gone through a very turbulent summer neither of us able to admit to the other what we really wanted or felt. As the summer came to a close I was preparing to leave the country for a couple months and felt like I needed to say more to her. I made her a playlist and found myself listening to it quite often while on my travels. While away in the process of writing her a 32 page letter I still felt like I wasn't saying what I really wanted to. This is the culminated inspiration of Lucy and her playlist .

Around the Tree and Back Again

Here I am.

Take it or leave it. Because this is me.

As I must be myself. You must be yourself.

Because as it rains all night

The filth will be washed away.

She (you) may be weird and I may be wrong.

Your mind and intelligence have infected me.

Like the rain you look like.

And I would for you, do what I must do.

To try not to scare you.

As I’m just lookin’ for a love

That may end up just another women in red that got away.

Maybe she just needs to go where she belongs.

Somewhere to be free and find a lover.

As I try to build a house fit for a lady.

Where I can empty my past.

And we can listen to the rain applaud our silent love.

Before I can’t take it anymore and abandon society.

To find the silence of only coyotes howling,

Whoo yip whooo.

And she wanders to bloom out with the other wildflowers.

Yet as I struggle.

There’s something about her,

That keeps me going on in this wild world.

Of  ups and downs, Dancing under lavender moons.

Walkin’ after midnight, searching for the nightlife.

Before I ask her to lay with me.

Because I’m afraid of a never ending lonely hunt.

As patience isn’t my strong suit.

And I want to know. I can’t take it any longer.

I’ll play you the flute.

As we set each other free and float by Venus.

I’ll take a picture of that sexy lady blowing my mind.

Who’s become my beloved behind a green light.

But what I really need to know is:

When you’ll let me in?

If not. Just let me out.

Because when the music begins, I just want you.

And a dance. And then I’ll chant:

I’m not perfect and this is how it’s going to be.

Not fade away!

This is real. I’m warning you baby. Give me one last dance.

We’re better than the real thing.

For those of you who are curious this is the playlist:

• Here I am (live); Lyle Lovett
• Be Yourself; Audioslave
• And It Rained All Night; Thom Yorke
• Is She Weird; The Pixies
• I Might Be Wrong; Radiohead
• You Look Like Rain; Morphine
• I Would For You; Jane's Addiction
• Lookin' For A Love; Neil Young
• The Woman That Got Away; J.J. Cale
• Wildflowers; Tom Petty
• If I Were A Carpenter; Johnny Cash & June Carter Cash
• Empty; Ray LaMontagne
• Society; Eddie Vedder
• Coyotes; Don Edwards
• Wildflowers; Dolly Parton, Emmylou Harris, & Linda Ronstadt
• Something In The Way She Moves; James Taylor
• Wild World; Cat Stevens
• Kiko And The Lavender Moon; Los Lobos
• Walkin' After Midnight; Patsy Cline
• Would You Lay With Me; Johnny Cash
• The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter; Thievery Corporation w/David Byrne
• I Can't Wait For Your Love; Lyrics Born
• So Flute; St. Germain
• Sex-O-Matic Venus Freak; Macy Gray
• Let Me In, Let Me Out (remix); Lyrics Born
• Chant (bonus track); Xavier Rudd
• Not Fade Away; The Rolling Stones
• Even Better Than The Real Thing; U2

A couple from last summer that had me asking questions:

Waiting up

Why do I get all cleaned up?

Just to spend all night waiting up.

Not knowing if I’ll get to show up.

So what’s my hang up?

I just want to keep up.

And not let up.

I’ve got a long way to not give up.

Re-reading History

As I contemplate the history of what I’ve written,

It’s become perfectly clear.

I should really be queer.

But again I’ve found another,

And she has me smitten.

Scrabble Translation:

Scrabble Translation

Up late playing with words.

Randomly laying them down. Here and there,

This way and that. And maybe.

They can and will be something amazing.

Or something lost to a piece of clutter.

Tossed in the corner of the room.

And I still beat Candace.